Being Transgender is dishonest

A recent Feministing post on transgender people having sex with cisgender people attracted many negative comments focusing on the “dishonesty” of transgender people.

First of I’d like to say that I completely agree that it is dishonest for a transgender person and a cisgender person to have sex, full-stop.  We live in a world where notions of sexual orientation and gender are defined from a cisgender persective.  Since transgender people don’t fit neatly into these cisgender definitions, we are always going to be dishonest.

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Being Silenced by Stealth

I made a decision a while back to distance myself from me being transgender.  I moved to a new city where no people knew my past, and since then have largely remained silent.  The only people I told my secret to were in the LGBT community and mostly transgender people at that.  And I thought living stealth was what I wanted, but it really handicaps speaking out on any transgender issue.  Not least because of the fear of outing myself.

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