Beyond the Rainbow

Beyond the Rainbow

Musings on Neurodiversity, Gender and Sexual Diversity

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  • Does the Split Attraction Model work for me?

    This is written for the February 2022 carnival of aces, on the theme of “can you conceptualize your identity and/or orientation in terms other than attraction?” Up until my mid-20s I was completely confused as to what my sexual orientation was. I swapped between thinking I was sexually attracted to women, to men, to both,…

    Pegasus

    February 28, 2022
    Asexuality
    asexual, Asexuality
  • Non-Sexual BDSM

    This was written for the December 2014 Carnival of Aces on “Touch, Sensuality, and Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy” For me, BDSM is completely non-sexual and I never desire for it to lead to anything sexual.  My mind just doesn’t make an intuitive connection between the two.  The pleasure I get from BDSM is simply about playing…

    Pegasus

    January 3, 2015
    Asexuality, BDSM
    asexual, bdsm, Carnival of Aces, kink
  • Policing Asexual Definitions

    One thing I really dislike is label policing.  Claiming that one specific definition of an identity is the correct one, and objecting to anybody else who fails to fit it using that label.  Many communities have these sorts of “correct definition” disputes.  But disagreements over the “correct” usage of asexual, aromantic, and sexual and romantic…

    Pegasus

    December 27, 2014
    Asexuality
    Activism, asexual
  • November 2014 Carnival of Aces – Round Up

    Edit: added a submission from rainbow-after-the-stormy   Thank you everyone who submitted a post of the November carnival of aces, on the theme of expectations in friendships/relationships.  I’ve posted links below, but if I’ve missed anybody (or if you are still working on it) then please let me know 🙂 Laura writes about the weight of other…

    Pegasus

    December 1, 2014
    Asexuality
    ace, asexual, Asexuality, Carnival of Aces, expectations
  • Sexual Expectations in the Kink Community

    Being asexual in the kink scene feels strange at times.  On the one hand, it is awesome.  It’s generally acknowledged that everybody’s kinks are different, and so most people don’t take for granted that you will be interested in X,Y,Z (let alone necessarily with them).  There is an emphasis placed on negotiating the kinds of…

    Pegasus

    December 1, 2014
    Asexuality, BDSM
    asexual, bdsm, kink, queer
  • November 2014 Carnival of Aces – Call for Submissions

    Thank you everybody who submitted something.  The submissions can be found on the November 2014 Carnival of Aces Round Up page  

    Pegasus

    November 1, 2014
    Asexuality
    asexual, Carnival of Aces
  • Asexual sex-positivism

    Sex-positive feminism is far from perfect when it comes to asexual inclusion – or indeed including anybody who isn’t a white, middle-class, cis, straight, fully able woman.  So I completely understand why a sizable portion of the asexual community steers well clear of this movement, where too many activists are openly acephobic and dismissive of…

    Pegasus

    October 6, 2014
    Asexuality, Queer Feminism
    asexual, feminism, sex-positive
  • Consent in Dr Who

    I love Doctor Who, and have been a fan for most of my life.  Yet the show has rightly been criticized many times over its 50 year history, over its portrayal of gender, race, sexuality, and disability.  And right now we have a show-runner (Steven Moffat) who faces accusations of sexism – or at best,…

    Pegasus

    September 10, 2014
    Queer Feminism
    consent, dr who, rape culture, steven moffat
  • The “Unassailable Asexual” in Activism

    This is written for the August 2014 carnival of aces, on the theme of the unassailable asexual I am a long way from being an unassailable asexual.  I’m a rape survivor, had major mental health difficulties, have a libido, am kinky, trans*, genderqueer and non-monogamous.  I’ve never quite worked out whether being aromantic or romantic…

    Pegasus

    August 31, 2014
    Asexuality
    Activism, asexual
  • The meaning of “Cis”

    If you’d asked me seven years ago if I thought the word ‘cis’ would enter mainstream language I’d have scoffed at the idea.  Yet despite some cis people’s dislike of the word, it is becoming much more widely known outwith trans* and activist communities.  Not only that, but mainstream media is paying much more attention…

    Pegasus

    August 4, 2014
    Trans*
    cis, trans
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